#8 Dibuang Sayang

November has been the toughest month of this year. So much things are happening in this one month, and I don't know if I should feel happy? Anxious? Tired? Maybe all of them.

But I won't talk about that in this post, no. I will talk about... poems. Now, this is a new area for me. Jadi gini, in one of those days of November gue tiba-tiba terpilih menjadi kontingen puisi dalam ajang perlombaan seni bertajuk UI Art War. Those of you yellow jacketers must know what that competition is. Dan ya, I was one of the kontingen (the fuck is the english of kontingen, please pardon my bilingual-ness).

It was on a whim really, I didn't even thought about applying at al at first. Tapi akibat peer pressure (???) akhirnya gue memutuskan untuk mencoba. Poem is never really my forte. Yes, I write but it's more like a short story, novelet, drabble. Never poems.

Imagine how shocked I am when I got the notification that I was choosen to be the kontingen.

So, in the process of that gue diharuskan untuk membuat dan mengirimkan beberapa puisi. And this post, is about the poems I wrote and the one I finally send in for the competition.

***

Kata Ibuku

Kata Ibuku,

Ilmu membuat seseorang terhormat

Ilmu mengangkat derajat,

Dan membuat semua tangga sosial terpanjat

Kata ibuku,

Nak, tuntutlah ilmu hingga ke negeri Cina

Kejarlah asa hingga angkasa

Tanyakan segalanya

Tanyakan tentang manusia

Tanyakan tentang dunia

Tanyakan tentang langit

Tanyakan tentang semesta

Tanyakan semua

Jangan kembali jika kau belum mengerti,

Begitu kata ibuku

Dan ketika akhirnya aku kembali

Benak sesak dengan sejuta kontemplasi

Ibu malah menatapku pedih

Dengan air mata jatuh membasahi pipi

Nak, apa yang terjadi?

Matanya berkaca ketika kuberikannya jawaban

Atas satu pertanyaan;

Siapa Tuhanmu?

Aku.

***

Kepada Yth, Bibit Penerus Bangsa

Lihat disana,

Mereka yang menyebut diri bibit penerus bangsa

Berbicara

Berorasi

Berdebat

Mereka bilang itu perjuangan

Perjuangan demi rakyat yang telah menafkahi

Tahun-tahun mereka duduk di kelas

Menuntut ilmu

Menggapai asa

Membangun ego

Lihat disana,

Mereka yang menyebut diri bibit penerus bangsa

Kini sudah dewasa

Berbicara dihadapan rakyat jelata

Mengumbar semua kecuali kerja nyata

Memuntahkan kata dengan bangga

Seolah mereka mahatahu

Dan rakyat hanyalah monyet dungu

Semua hanya demi sebuah usaha

Perlindungan ego dari benturan malu

Logika

Akuisisi

Fragmentasi

Akuntabilitas

Intervensi

Denominasi

Fluktuatif

Relatif

Inflasi

Deflasi

Tuan… kami rasanya ingin berteriak,

Kami tidak butuh kata,

Kami butuh nasi

*** 

Dia adalah Warna

Dia adalah Biru

Laut

Langit

Dan sepasang celana jeans usang di lemari

Dia Biru layaknya rindu

Dia Biru dan dia  sendu

Dia adalah Merah

Api

Mawar

Dan darah

Dia adalah Merah yang membara

Dia adalah Merah yang bergairah

Tapi dia adalah Abu-abu

Tidak merah dan tidak pula biru

Dia abu dan kelabu

Bagai mendung di hari Rabu

Dan hujan yang kemudian datang menyerbu

***

So those are the ones I wrote tapi gak dikirim. And this one is the one I finally send in (30 minutes before the deadline, yeah kids I like to live life dangerously).

***

Pesan Bumi untuk Planet Selanjutnya

Jika suatu saat nanti aku tak ada lagi,

Kawan,

Bolehkah kutitipkan padamu beban ini?

Maafkan aku yang tak lagi mampu,

Kawan,

Sesungguhnya, dan jika saja aku bisa

Urung aku membiarkanmu menanggungnya

Tak akan tega 'ku melihatmu menderita

Tapi, Kawan

Maafkan aku

Aku tak lagi mampu

Aku telah habis diperkosa ketamakan

Diinjak-injak keangkuhan

Dimutilasi ambisi

Dibakar oleh benci

Dan aku, Bumi,

Sudah tidak kuat lagi.

***

It didn't win, just as I expected. But hey, I was a newbie and it's only normal (isn't it?) But I'm proud of myself. Lagian, deklamatornya menang (YAAAAAAAYY!) He got 2nd place, isn't he just great? 

I guess that's all for this post. I'll be posting another drabble soon! Stay tune aight, Love?

xoxo

F.

Reader's Guide: My K-Pop Fanfict Recommendation (part 1)

Hello reader fella!

This time I'm going to talk about one of my biggest interest in life since 3 years ago. yep, it's K-Pop. You know, those pretty boys and girls that sing and dance and act in a tear-jerking dramas and also do foolish things on a variety show. Yep. 

But, this post isn't about how the trend and culture of K-Pop itself. It's about one of the most essential part of being a fan of K-Pop idols (or any kind of idols actually). It's about fanfiction. 

Well, the thing about me is... I'm a hardcore reader. Like, ever since I was a kid I love reading everything I could get in sight. A brochure, my father's newspaper, my mother's old collection of Enid Blyton's series, even the boring stories about perang kemerdekaan on my history textbook. Growing up, I started to read various novels with various genres. I remember to have finished reading one of Dan Brown's novel (I forgot which one, was it Da Vinci Code? Was it The Lost Symbol?) only in one day. I was like 11 at that time, lol talking about nerdies.

And with that, when I joined this cult of K-Popus Fangirlismus, the fanfictions has become my biggest interest. I spend a lot (A LOT) of times browsing the net to look for the best fanfic every fandoms can offer, and God do they have amazing authors with amazing works. I even dare to say that those authors are even better than some of a cliche teenlit novels author whose book you could easily find on some popular bookstores.

And this is it. I've summarized a few of those fanfictions that are read worthy and not the usual 'oppa unnie saranghaeyo. omona waeyo? Arasseo' fanfictions (bleh, I cringed so hard writing those words). So... enjoy!

(Disclaimer: This isn't in a particular order, okay. I'll just write whatever title that comes into my mind first. And this will not be based on any particular fandoms too. Might contain BoyxBoy act)

1. Prayer For The Impossible by chasingbreaths

Genre: angst, romance

Cast: Bang Yongguk and Kim Himchan (B.A.P)

Angst is my favorite genre and this fanfic will always be on the top of my list. Quick summary: Himchan is a broken and sick artist while Yongguk is the one who destined to take his life. They fell in love. And you know the rest.

So fucking heart-wrenching, is what I could say. I read this fic on one summer night, it was almost 2 AM and I sobbed hard on the last few chapters. Like, seriously. Aside from the fact that its pairing was my two ultimate bias (Yasss BangHim shipper here yow!), the plot and storyline is just... too much to handle without tears. Just a glimpse of the story:

Unfortunately though, it seems like the author has deleted the entire story so I can't give you the link to the full story :( Author-nim, I'm still hoping that you would repost this...

2. Der Marchenclub by pinboo
Genre: thriller, suspense, angst
Cast: Super Junior and SNSD (Main)

It'd be a sin if I don't put this great masterpiece on this list. This is what I call: MINDBLOWING. I read this when I first entered the cult of K-Popus Fangirlismus, thus I didn't really have any particular fandom yet. I just browse mindlessly through asianfanfics and apparentlyl I had stumbled upon this masterpiece.

What can I say? The author has succesfully twist those fairytale we used  to know as a kid to some sick, maddening, emotionally-draining thriller plot. Death and blood would be everywhere, those characters you thought is an angels might be the actual lucifers, and those you think you could trust... might be plotting your death by now (MUAHAHAHA).

I don't even like Super Junior nor SNSD, let alone ship them but... this fic is definiteley a most read.

3. Flavors by Scheherazade

Genre: Slice of life

Cast: Jang Hyunseung (BEAST), OC

Sweet would be the only word fit to describe this fic. The words are enchantingly beautiful and as the title was saying, this fanfic would bring you to a journey of a thousand explosions of flavor. From the flavor of Peppermint Dewdrop, Anise Sunflower, Kaffir Velveteen, to the flavor of Numb.

You know, I kinda have a trust issue of fanfic that involves Bias x OC pairing because

it basically filled with cliche trash and shits. But this one completely changes my bad impression about the OC fanfictions. I love the way the author write the OC. Like, she was fragile, but not. She seems like insane, but not. She looks like she's in love with him, but not. She's simple but also at the same time has the most complex character in the story.

4. THIN AIR by asweetdepravity

Genre: angst, romance, a bit of fluff, and more angst

Cast: Choi Seunghyun (T.O.P) and Kwon Jiyong (G-Dragon)

I don't ship GTOP. I don't ship GTOP. I don't ship GTOP

But I think I might just change my mind after reading this fic.

Or maybe I just got a thing for broken people.

Quick summary: amnesia, terminal illness, broken Jiyong, equally messed-up Seunghyun.

Did I summed everything up?

5. Chopin's Embrace by elisaexplosive
Genre: angst, slice of life, mystery, thriller
Cast: Random idols

Beautifully thrilling. Ooh, I got goosebumps from reading this in the middle of the night. This story is a collection of connected one shots. But what is the connection? Well... Suicide. On the first chapter you got this bullied lesbian, played by Amber, who's in love with her bully. On The second chapter you'll get Zelo as the anxious teenager who's stalked by a mysterious middle-aged man (creeeeepy), the next you'll find the lonely Bom and many more. But well, as stated above, this is a thriller fanfic so don't expect that the characters will live happily ever after.

Maybe they will. I don't know. They're all died from suicide, right? Who knows.

6. SCANDAL by kpoponly
Genre: angst, angst, AAAAAANGST, a bit fluff
Cast: G-Dragon & Taeyeon (Main), Kiko Mizuhara, Leeteuk, Suju, SNSD, YGFam, Nuthang (Minor)

Never thought I'd put this fic on the list, though. I don't even know there are people who ships this two. Like... Can you imagine? G-Dragon and Taeyeon? Exactly. But that is exactly what triggers my curiousity towards this fic. To be very honest, I was kinda skeptical at first. You know, just like the OC fanifc, I also have trust issue about this crackpair fanfic. But, well, I thought there's no harm in reading a few chapters right?

And damn, I was wrong. Past the third chapter, I was already sold. I love how the writer describes G-Dragon's character as if it is the real him. The real Kwon Jiyong with all his cockiness, fluff, hopeles-romanticism, and shits (I don't know how's the real Kwon Jiyong is, but that's just the vibe I got from him so yeah. Subjective). And don't forget the fragile-and-sometimes-annoying-but-adorable Taeyeon. This is what I call imperfectly perfect. And oh, how can I left out Kiko, my dear Kiko Mizuhara? Wild and broken Kiko... God, I love how the author potrayed her. The plot, maaaann the plot is so thick with drama with just enough amount of fluff to balance the angst.

This fic is an absolute emotional roller coaster. Put on your seatbelt, and just enjoy.

1.

 2.

3.

(Lol, I even put three screencaps. That shows you how much I love this fic. I'm so biased /facepalm)

7. Grey by jongbuttbutt

Genre: Angst (maybe?), implicit smut
Cast: Bang Yongguk (B.A.P) and Kim Himchan (B.A.P)

This fic, has successfully illustrated its title. It is grey. The relationship between the character is grey. The character itself is grey. What is Himchan? Is he human? Is he angel? But angel didn't come to this part of town...

(And even the smut scene is 'grey' lol)

Overall I like the vague-ness of this one shot. It's like you're trying to read through a thick fog, if that's even possible. I like how the author wrote down every words, thumbs up for that.

Yeah, so I guess that's all for now. I'll update when I find another read-worthy fanfics. I hope you enjoy this recommendation, and don't be shy to drop any of your recommendation here if you happen to have one. See you another time!

xoxo

F.

Going Back on Track

Aye blogger fella!

Phew, sudah lama sekali rasanya tidak melakukan sesi curhat di media ini. Rindu rasanya (aseek). Ga deng boong. Tapi serius. HAHA.

Okay, well... where should I start... When was the last time I posted something here? 2 years ago? 3 years? 4? Maybe 3. Yeah, 3. Waktu kelas 12 and I said I don't even wanna go to any PTN (such a cocky bish you are, fik). Well, apparently universe has some other plans for me. Greater plan. Yes, baby, I'm now on my 2nd (and a half) year studying in Universitas Indonesia taking Social Wellfare Studies as my major (it's purely accidental, I'll tell you all the stories later). Cool, huh?

College is... what should I say... frustrating? Exciting? Fun? Tiring? Well, it's all of the above. Gue bisa ceritain mengenai hal-hal yang membedakan kuliah dengan jenjang pendidikan lainnya but that's so Maba. Hahahah, so... some other time (again) maybe?

Sesungguhnya, postingan ini dibuat semata-mata hanya sebagai pembuka atas pengaktifan kembali dinodinoattack di dunia per-blogging-an. I can't believe I started blogging again, yay!

Expect to hear more from yes, love?

xoxo
F